Life and Diary of David Brainerd - Edwards - III - Parts 3 & 4

Required reading
Life and Diary of David Brainerd by Jonathan Edwards (Available from Amazon or free here) - Read Parts 3 and 4.

My summary
In Parts 3 and 4 we see Brainerd begin to preach and hear a little of his appointment as a missionary to the Indians.

In these parts Brainerd reflects a lot upon his depravity and how depressed his sin makes him feel.  This depravity also leads him to claim that his preaching is terrible. 

However throughout the diary entries there is also record of many moments of sweet consolations from God.

What grabbed me
Two things particularly grabbed me today.  Firstly, it was in prayer with other believers that Brainerd felt closest to heaven: 'This day, being about to go from Mr. Bellamy’s at Bethlehem, where I had resided some time, I prayed with him, and two or three other Christian friends. We gave ourselves to God with all our hearts, to be his for ever: eternity looked very near to me, while I was praying. If I never should see these Christians again in this world, it seemed but a few moments before I should meet them in another world.'

Secondly, Brainerd's assessment of himself as a preacher is quite confronting: 'I had the most abasing thoughts of myself’, I think, that ever I had; I thought myself the worst wretch that ever lived: it hurt me, and pained my very heart, that any body should show me any respect. Alas! methought, how sadly they are deceived in me! how miserably would they be disappointed, if they knew my inside! Oh my heart! And in this depressed condition I was forced to go and preach to a considerable assembly, before some grave and learned ministers; but felt such a pressure from a sense of my vileness, ignorance, and unfitness to appear in public, that I was almost overcome with it; my soul was grieved for the congregation; that they should sit there to hear such a dead dog as I preach. I thought myself infinitely indebted to the people, and longed that God would reward them with the rewards of his grace. I spent much of the evening alone.”'

At first I was tempted to laugh at this paragraph.  But then I thought that Brainerd is actually assessing all preachers correctly.  Every minister is a vile dead dog and the only reason anyone listens to him with profit is by the grace of God.

Next week's reading
Read Part 5.

Now it's your turn
Please post your own notes and thoughts in the comments section below.